today i realized that ive always measured my worth by my weight and obsessed and worried about what i look like to others, and im ready to make the decision that I just want to live a happy life and do this the healthy way. i think i will always need reasurance from those who are important to me, but i want my journey to acceptance to start now.

im paranoid my worrying will be the end of things. i can only do so much, and i cant deal with it alone anymore. if nothing happens soon, this is going to be a hell of a month.

I need sleep. I can’t tell if I’m sick from the mcdonalds I ate last night or from being overly worked up all week about everything.